Yep….I’m a Sheep.

The Scream, 1893 by Edvard Munch


As I tap away here with my two fingers at my keyboard, my mind searches to understand humanity, one word that looms and grows is the word FEAR.

Let’s face it fear is a choice, as we emerge as adults we can work through these fears that stunt us on so many levels, that’s if we are working the hard yards and doing the work I guess.

So let’s look at that, what is Fear? Is it the anticipation of pain, fear of violence? Fear of a breakup, the loss of someone you love? Fear of sharks, of plane crashes, of falling off a cliff?

Some of us have felt churches cripple us with the fear they preach, and many of us have walked in another direction.

Yet here we are supposedly evolving conscious, aware people, but let’s see, humanity is splitting right down the middle isn’t it?

The so called “believers” now refer to the rest of us as sheep.

Well Baaaaa Baaaaa

I’m happy to wave the sheep flag high, and continue to place, and light a candle between the horns of a rams skull, in daily ritual, asking the ancestors and gods to give you “believers” clarity, as I am NOT a racist, a white supremacist, or any part of anti-science.

I don’t believe children are being kidnapped, slaughtered and eaten to gain power from their blood, or being held in tunnels, under cities around the world. I don’t believe any organisation in particular is controlling all positions in government, banks, international finance, the news media, and the church all at once. I don’t believe anyone is trying to disarm the police or promote paedophilia, or is planning to mongrelize any race so it will lose its essential power.

I don’t believe I am losing my power or that I am living in a police state, because I choose to stay at home, rather than catch a real virus that is killing people all over the globe. I do believe however that the “believers” without realising are spreading hatred and encouraging harm, through their actions.

Folks we have been down this road before in 1902, do some research, open your minds, and look at the bigger picture, as back in 1902 the Russian anti-Jewish propagandists wrote the book on this literally. It was called The Protocols of the Elders of Zion. It was filled with myths about a Jewish plot to take over the world that had existed for hundreds of years. Central to its mythology was the Blood Libel, which claimed that Jews kidnapped and slaughtered Christian children and drained their blood to mix in the dough for matzos consumed on Jewish holidays.

As that is what you the “believers” are supporting, another myth. You have no facts, just myth that is being spread across the media and the internet.

Hitler’s narcissistic autobiography and manifesto Mein Kampf exposes his battle against the Jewish plot to rule the world, showing he copied his conspiracy theories from the Nazis published children’s book Protocols which contained the required curriculum of every primary school in Germany. The Nazi newspaper, Der Stürmer (derived from the German word for “Storm”) spread the Blood Libel, just as our media is spreading this new conspiracy too.

These macabre fairy tales are very dangerous, and feeding the fear of the educators, the elders, the healers, the presenters, the leaders, it has become a nightmare to watch just who is sprouting these conspiracy theories.  QAnon’s conspiracy theory is a rebranded version of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion.

I’ve been told by three loved ones about their fantasy that a secret Satan-worshiping cabal is taking over the world. Apparently their members kidnap white children, keep them in secret prisons run by paedophiles, slaughter, and eat them to gain power from the essence in their blood. The cabal held the American Presidency under the Clintons and Obama, nearly took power again in 2016, and lurks in a “Deep State” financed by Jews, including George Soros, and in Jews who control the media.

Just the fact that they are saying a Satan- Worshiping cabal, did my head in trying to explain who Satanists actually were, I guess it was lost on them, as they have been brainwashed now to believe in these draconian fundamentalist Christian views, are their truth, just more hatred there. So disappointing how these beautiful free spirits I once knew are now showing their true bigoted views, as they now support stopping legal abortion, they are against transgender rights, and against homosexuality. They believe this stuff, and now they are no longer in my life.

I am left shocked by their new hatred and intolerance. They also want people to be armed, and they want the police defunded. The want to keep borders closed so that refugees and those fleeing hardship cannot mongrelise their white race, that’s unbelievable racism, and something I simply won’t tolerate.

 I’m simply perplexed at how any rational person could fall for such an irrational conspiracy theory. But modern social science shows that people in groups don’t always think rationally. Apparently people do respond to fear and terror. They blame their misfortunes on scapegoats. They support narcissistic demagogues that they hope will rescue them, and that’s simply scarier.

These “true believers” think Donald Trump will rescue them from this satanic cabal. Shit for a little while there I was starting to think myself that Donald Trump may have been misunderstood, they were so convincing, I now admit to being ignorant back then and have gone back to my original thinking, I simply don’t like the man or his energy.

What ever happened to good old fashioned taking responsibility? Pulling up your socks and getting on with it, to turn your life around, have we become so soft that we cannot fend for ourselves? Or as it looks even manage to think for ourselves.

In Europe in the 1930’s, millions were unemployed, in the streets violent battles raged between Nazis and Communists, and the Democratic governments remained powerless. In Italy and Spain fascist dictators ruled. Western Europe was conquered by Hitler when he took power in Germany, as communist Stalin conquered the East of Europe. Hitler and Stalin held a steadfast pact with totalitarian rule over most of Europe. After millions of deaths in World War II finally the Nazi’s were defeated, but we should not forget the genocidal tyranny, and the extra fifty years it took to free the Soviet Union.

Millions of people today have lost their jobs worldwide due to the deadly virus Covid-19, and yes we are suffering globally. These angry “believers” roam the streets, ignoring this plague, or roaming social media, spreading their hatred, and spending countless hours “researching” their myth, when they could be using their time constructively.

We’ve seen the divide in America clearly as these two forces do battle in the streets, armed militants versus militarised police, and the government appears to look the other way, as Trump clearly needs the “believer” votes as well, as he heads to the elections in the next few weeks. Also notice how Trump is ignoring fascist Mohammed bin Salman’s rule of Saudi Arabia and the old Ottoman and Persian empires and dictator Vladimir Putin’s ruling over Russia as they each murder their opponents. Yet he continues to denounce the dictatorship rule of China and makes them the sole scapegoat for the pandemic that he dropped the ball completely with. Yet he indulges Russia to no end.

The world has seen QAnon before. It was called Nazism.  Whatever you do, don’t fall for this dangerous thinking, please report any suspicious posts if you see them.

“Our emotions can be generated by stimuli both real, in the moment, and remembered—or even imagined. That’s the gift and the burden of the human mind.”Antonio Damasio

If you are a “believer” then please unfriend me, here and in real life, as truly what you are supporting and citing is simply abhorrent to every fibre of my being.

46 years ago today I was thrown out of school for being too “dumb” to go through to pass exams, yet I am sharp enough it seems these days…bless those nuns at that convent…..even if I am a sheep!

© Astarté Earthwise 27 September 2020

Dr. Gregory Stanton – BA (Oberlin), MTS (Harvard Divinity School), MA and Ph.D. in Anthropology (U. of Chicago), and J.D. (Yale Law School).

Antonio Damasio – Current Professor of Psychology, Philosophy, and Neurology at University of Southern California.

G. Stanley Hall – American Psychologist

The Scream, 1893 by Edvard Munch


Spring Equinox Blessings……The compass turns and warms……with Her arrival and each day She grows stronger and more vigorous….. His hooves dig a little deeper in to the red clay of this land….. At the beginning of spring the Maiden bursts free from the shadow of the Crone….. Her arrival heralds a rebirth of the flora and fauna…… She dances and plays happily in the bush……singing up the old songlines…..breathing in the scents of spring on the Air….. Riding on the wings of the bees…. spreading the pollen…. and blissfully planning new adventures…… As the days lengthen, the Sun grows higher…. the smell of Eucalyptus makes her heady, as new leaves unfold…..She explores deeper into the wildness….. Until one day She spies the youthful Sun Lord…… hunting a newly emerged goanna by a billabong……They smile at each other, a spear is thrown…. and a friendship is forged…….. By Spring Equinox the beautiful Maiden and the young Lord explore the wilds of the bush together……Following the Magpie song….the wallaby trails….. And laughing at the Kookaburra call…. playfully and innocent…….He weaves garlands of golden Wattle for her hair….they climb the ancient sandstone ridges…..resting to catch the breeze….. Their bodies grow and blossom….. and with their laughter……the gum trees sway and the native birds sing……Life is good…. they become more and more absorbed in each other….desire is growing…the stirrings of the land and the groin unite…..evenings are spent looking at the constellation of Libra above them… the scales light up the peak of the night sky….the dampness and the hardness are felt….. As they lie by the fire under the protective Eastern Grey Jacks fur….. Intensity builds…..butterflies are felt within…. pulses are quickening…..growth….now meets its own deliriousness….. Spring Equinox is upon us, and the land…time to celebrate this renewal once again…Blessings on this…. the day of perfect balance…When Light and Dark stand equal…..when the sun takes its place in Libra…and we too look at our relationships….and we look at how we too are balanced…we acknowledge these things within us…both the light and the dark….of our being…and with the sun we move forward…shining the light into the places it is needed….making the changes….for the journey ahead…and towards…Beltane.

© Astarté Earthwise


When we truly listen to others it creates a beautiful holy silence. When we choose to listen to others with the generosity of our spirit only then, can they hear the truth in themselves, often for the very first time. In this silence of listening, you may know yourself, in everyone. To be silent is a deep mystery, one where you may be able to hear in everyone and beyond everyone, hear the unseen whispering gently to yourself and to its self. ©Astarté Earthwise


This last decade I’ve walked away from a few friendships where I have witnesses people running others down, complaining, gossiping and being negative behind others backs. I realised lamentingly so, that they were doing the same to me, as I could see the repetitive pattern. I saw that they were very unhappy in their own lives. I couldn’t understand why they didn’t fix their own lives instead of talking about everyone else’s; it clearly shows me more about who they are.

There were the outright lies too, even sometimes aimed at making me look lesser that I was, this was concerning, yet gave me insight, and the truth about such friendships. I also recognised that these people liked to control everything and everyone around them, and sometimes bully their needs and wants above my needs, without too much insight of how it was to be on the receiving end of such actions. Some were very kind and generous, others greedy and self-centred.

Someone that truly loves or cares for you in friendship will want to build you up, not knock you down. They will respect your worth, your boundaries, allowing you to be your authentic self and to speak honesty with clear communication.

From my history this last decade I see a sequence, of such friends you often hold the closest, simply giving you the silent treatment, if you hold your ground, refusing to allow them to have power over you. Two have hung up, refused to talk with me ever again, because I had boundaries, and could not be bullied. And another has just refused to say what it was I did, as in the last conversation, I refused to take sides, this person, actually told me I had to choose between them and another, as I could not in their eyes have both of them in my life as friends, incredible isn’t it?  

These people will talk to anyone else that will listen, and spin stories, without a hint of remorse for their one eyed tales. Easily spotted with wisdom, and hindsight, most of their sentences start with “I really love so and so, BUT.” or “So and so is a beautiful person, BUT.” or “I really like so and so, HOWEVER.” From now on if I hear the “but” or the “however”, I will be detaching from such people.

It’s naturally human to talk about others at times, so be grateful, kind, and graceful, if you do so, choosing your words with care. It’s also more awake and aware to talk about your ideas and others ideas, to talk about events, talking about others just brings you down, it’s not operating at a higher level, choose to practice your values, walk your true path, even if its alone at times.

It’s regretful to know that people who do gossip will always gossip about you too, what others have to say, think or feel about how I live my life does not really effect my happiness. I made a hard decision, it wasn’t easy walking away, but I figured if I didn’t value myself more then who would?

I do know one thing that has become very clear I only wish to have friendships that truly nurture us both, were there is respect, honesty, and true intimacy. I have a lot of people in my life but I would rather just have a small circle of those that I trust, and know they enjoy my company as do I there’s. We have all experienced disappointment’s and deep hurts from friendships, that’s a part of life, yet we have great opportunities to learn much from each and every one, it’s how we get to know who we are, and if we are honest with ourselves, as we grow and develop spiritually, we will clearly see the chaff from the grain, sift it, and know what was valuable, and carry that with you, and ever so gently blow the rest away, with compassion and love in your heart.

I am truly grateful to these people who showed me, that even though I was grateful for the friendship, parts never felt comfortable, and one thing I have learnt above all else is to learn to trust my intuition even more, as when we don’t, we take a side path on our journey, and sometimes end up in the rabbits burrow, before realising we went in the direction opposite to where we were originally heading, yet always happy for the lessons learnt.

I am writing this to work through this process and to teach my self the art of not talking about others. It’s a practice I value dearly and hope to be able to do. I step forth from this last paragraph positively living in my imperfectly human way to give it my very best. So mote it be!